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Joumana Haddad

Sexy men in burqas?

Image courtesy of arts-stew.com

The J-Spot
a blog about women’s rights, human dignity, secularism and sexual freedom in the Arab world

 

The news is truly hilarious and pathetic at the same time, not to say surreal. Apparently three UAE men have been recently ejected from an annual culture festival in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia, then deported to Abu Dhabi, on the charge of being “too handsome”: The Saudi Commission for the Promotion of Virtue and Prevention of Vices (can you imagine the existence of such a religious police?) feared that female visitors of the festival could fall for those guys because they were sexy and alluring.

Finally someone agrees with me: Handsome men are a threat to national security! They are natural born terrorists in their own right. They should be locked up so the world would be protected from their harm. So here’s a warning to all men, Arab and not, who are thinking about traveling to Saudi Arabia: If you are good looking (or just suspect that you are good looking, even if your family and friends disagree with you), abstain from visiting the holy land of the devout.

One could be vicious enough to say that this is a good revenge for all the Saudi women who have to cover up in order not to tempt men and compromise their purity. One could be even more vicious and suggest a great solution to this emerging hotness crisis: impose burqas on men and get it over with. Problem solved.

Handsomeness is evil and all the lucky unattractive men out there should be thanking their God day and night for their repulsiveness. Consequently, may I suggest a new, more appropriate version of the Fatiha?

 

Bismillāhi r-raḥmāni r-raḥīm
Māliki yawmi d-dīn
Ihdinā ṣ-ṣirāṭa al-mustaqīm
wa'etina n'ehmata an nakuna bashi'īn.


Translation:


In the name of Allah, the Entirely Merciful, the Especially Merciful
Owner of the Day of Recompense
Guide us to the Straight Path
And bestow upon us the grace of ugliness.

 



PS- The prayer only works if recited in front of a mirror.

Follow the author on Twitter @Joumana333

Image courtesy of arts-stew.com

Handsome men are a threat to national security!

  • jessy.haddad2

    Hahahahahah

    April 27, 2013

  • Inspirational

    Men in burqa would be transformed into mobile tents......

    April 22, 2013